you could kill a man in any of these dresses, and pretty sure no jury would convict you. those are killing-men dresses, that’s what i’m saying
I bet you they start out like. Really professional like Steve’s using his Captain America voice while someone else holds his phone and he gives some dorky line while standing next to the shopfront sign
and then in a few weeks it’s just Steve holding his phone over his head swinging it around going “I’m at [——] right now an—” and then a little kid comes up behind him and goes AAAAAA and Steve starts going AAAAAAAAA and they’re both just screaming into the camera until the six seconds are up because they’re LOSERS and Sam physically can’t.
NOT THAT SAM’S VINE IS ANY BETTER oh my god once he’s officially on the Avengers and the Falcon becomes a house hold name; all the bird jokes. SEVERAL instances of him pulling up a youtube phone cam vid of him doing something cool, and dubbing it over with “Y’ALL GON’ MAKE ME RELEASE THE FALCOONNNNN”
Tony and Sam decide it’d be fun to see what cute shit Cap says if you sneak up on him and go ‘Boo’. It backfires immediately because Steve is so comfortable around them and his reaction is to swear viciously and threaten them with bodily harm. Which is still hilarious! Just not something he’d want up on the internet. Sam promises he’ll delete it but Tony keeps it as blackmail (that he has no intention of ever using; he knows Cap’s audience is all ages and he may act like that doesn’t matter to him, but he has a huge fucking soft spot for Cap and his stinking All American morals and he knows it would actually upset him so no, its just for showing to the Avengers for shits and giggles)
Sam’s vines start out as “haha lookit this nest” and it’s him sitting in a little blanket pillow fort to “YO CHECK IT” and he has an actual place set up on Tony’s tower right there on the edge in the middle of the “A” and at the last second somewhere from the background is Clint shouting, “HEY”
Steve shouting DO IT FOR THE VINE at Bucky before Bucky gets what it means
Bucky doesn’t have a vine but he’s in Sam’s most famous one. Bucky is sitting on the couch then offscreen Sam yells “GET DOWN MR. PRESIDENT!” and Bucky looks around wildly but before he can figure out what’s going on, all the Avengers dogpile on him.
Bucky tries to avoid social media in general but he’s like a fucking easter egg on everyone elses’ accounts. The fans love it. He’s often in the background of Steve’s vids or getting trolled in Tony and Sam’s, but he rarely ends up saying anything. SO WHEN HE DOES, that shit is extra popular.
Finally one day Sam catches Bucky singing to himself as he shaves. Bucky catches sight of him right before the Vine ends and spends the next hour chasing him around trying to steal the phone back and destroy it.
do action movies know they can have more than one female character
Someone should make an action movie with all girls except for one guy and have no explanation or mention of it in the movie and then pay all of the actors to act surprised like they’d never noticed when they get the inevitable storm of questions.
This one male must have a shower scene, be saved by the protagonist at least once, and fall in love with a lead female.
The only thing I want in Avengers 2 is Cap picking up Thor’s hammer, totally unaware it should be impossible.
Actually in Marvel lore it is implicitly stated That Steve is one of only a few people on earth actually worthy of carrying Thor’s hammer
To hell with Steve, I want Natasha to pick it up and realise, even with all the red in her ledger, she is still just as worthy as Thor or Steve.
at the wedding, i thought they would sit janine and sherlock on either side of mary and john, making the wedded couple the center of attention, making them important
but instead it was mary, john, sherlock, and janine, making sherlock and john in the center
ads for pads these days are all about how thin and discreet pads are and how no one will ever be tell you’re wearing them wELL HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE THE PACKAGING QUIETER BECAUSE THERE’S NO FUCKING POINT IN HAVING A THIN DISCREET PAD WHEN EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU RIPPING ONE OPEN IN THE SCHOOL BATHROOM
Use the men’s room they won’t expect it
'Who the fuck is eating chips in here?'